Saturday, April 5, 2014

B

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Assalamualaikum.

Quick post yer.

Am on my way to Muadzam Shah. Yeah, there again. Depart around 9 tadi, arrive dalam 2pm kot. Then straight g pasar then makan.

Macam biasa la if terasa sayu sayu baru lah ada mood nak menulis, ye dak. Busy weh, tak menyempat nak mengadap blog bagai.

(Eh pehal bus ni sejuk sangat, beku hidung wa)

Tadi duk instawalking, jumpa 1 gamba ni. Jap try boleh share sini tak.


Ok tu la.

As I mention before, my latest relay is unique case. I'm the one who choose to be in there. But seriously deep in my heart,  I want to be always be with u, B. Not sharing. No minimum hours. Be seen in public.  Introduce u to my family. Unfortunately,  we cant.

Our relay is not like what I had dream before.


I miss you, B.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Wake Up, Ain!

Sometimes I'm lost, from realistic mind, from reality.

But I'm kinda love the fantasy, without been thinking about reality, who sucks, who hurts me so much. I love to live my own fantasy world, without hurting my self, am the hero, am the heroin, am the King who control the world, am the queen who control the King.

It's just in my mind, I live in the reality living who may hurts you everyday, without any control.

This two weeks is so damn challenging, my emotion, my health, my wealth. I just can't bare anymore. But one step am leaving this kinda situation, its getting better and makes me stay. I know its not a normal relay, and I never dream about being in this kind of relay. Uncontrolled, unexpected.

I never wanted this thing happen in my fantasy love story, but who the hell going to give you an option?

Yes, am a side-chick. So?

Did you there when am down? Did you hold my hand when am fall? Did you giving your arm when am crying? NOPE right?

So don't you ever think that your judgement will makes me feel guilty, dude. 

When you talk from a typical woman side, did you ever think what the hardest part for being side-chick? I know, you don't even care because its never happen to you. I never wanted to be seen like an angel, like a rainbow but PLEASE DON'T JUDGE. That's all.


" I'm with her, talk with you later"
----Later until 3 days? You'll never know. A side-chick don't need explanation, they just want you there. A side-chick don't care if you have another chicks, they only be jealous of your 1st lady. A side-chick not a clingy type, because she the one who sharing someone's. 




Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Reverse Psychology or Reverse Motivation?

Salam.

Boring topic but still can related to my current life condition. Actually aku memang minat part part Psychology nih. Since Uni kot, if I'm not mistaken 3rd sem ada Psychology subject. Plus lecturer best and I got A kot. Bukan senang nak dapat A! That's why lah aku appreciate. HAHA.

Back to the topic, amende RP ni kan?

" Reverse psychology: a persuasion technique involving the false advocacy of a belief or behavior contrary to the belief or behavior which is actually being advocated. This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional response in reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against. "

Maksudnya something yang takboleh do in direct way, kena pusingpusing. Selalunya Marketer selalu guna formula ni. Simple example ; Aku nak mintak mak aku RM 500 untuk beli baju, mak aku tak bagi, then aku cakaplah bagus baju tu, boleh nampak aku kurus & boleh tahan 8 tahun. Nampak macam nonsense tapi if mak aku percaya then RP aku berjaya lah kan :)

So, macamane connection between my life and this RP was, aku stress sangat kat office. Hari hari bangun pagi ada feel malas sangat, nak MC lah but my RP was breakfast. Yeah, sebab ada satu makcik tu jual breakfast yang sangat umphh! So I motivated my self by "Pergilah kerja, nanti boleh beli kuey tiaw and karipap Makcik tu".

It's WORK!

It's also a motivation. Percaya atau tidak, sekarang aku jarang makan malam. Bukan sebab nak diet (grrrr) but bila dah balik, malas nak masak, malas nak tapau, malas segalagalanya lah! So the motivation was same, " tahanlah perut, esok kita makan breakfast Makcik tu ye " :) 

Funny right, psychology sometimes we can predict but we can't control (AinKahar, 2014)



See ya later. XOXO

Sunday, February 9, 2014

UPDATED 2014

Salam.

It's been a long time. Yeah, been busy with life. Biasa lah ada naik turunnya, ye dak? I'm still struggling here at Damansara city. Tercunggap cunggap. Tercari cari. Plan to leaving this city, but the times haven't comes yet.

I have so much things to write up here, but dunno how to start.


WORK--
It's not so much fun like you wish when you still in school or college, it's so damn stress. I'm not types who clingy, who complaint about it, but Alhamdulillah, day by day I got strong iman to continue what I have been starts. Aku bersyukur dengan apa yang ada sekarang, but Insyallah, will move on to new life soon or later. Life should be challenging, abi?


FAMILY--
They being the greatest creation to me. Supportive--. Seriously, I'm not really a family-person when I was young (now, still young), but now I realize that they are everything. EVERYTHING


FRIENDS--
"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerfull stuff." - Jon Katz


LOVE--
It's already 6 month, but still have no direction.


EMOTIONAL--
Distracted.


That's all for now maybe, will write back when I feel like. Me myself know how much I miss write and how it's makes me calm and cure.



Later, XOXO.
  

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Fast

Salam.

Fast post yer. Without double check, without using brain at all.


Sumpah,

Dulu aku duk benci bila orang quotes 'Cinta itu buta', dalam hati plus mulut, apesal pulak. Xde otak ke apa buat statement macam tu. Boleh avoid kan, mengada-ngada je lebih. Danggggg, but now, damn! I'm being tied with my old words, telan hamek kau!

It's uncontrollable.

Unplanned, unexpected, etc.

Memang boleh elak der, tapi sekali kau dah terjatuh dalam lubang dalam, selain kau cuba sedaya upaya, sekuat mungkin and finally boleh punya. Tapi as we know, its too hard babe. Kekadang kita haus gila pun, setakat nak pergi dapur bukak peti pun malas gila.

But, bila kena macam ni bukan kira malas tak malas der, perghh nak usaha tu kira macam luah mati mak, telan mati bapak. Kau luah pun kau sakit, kau telan pun kau merana and finally ko decide nak kemamkan aje. Tak pikir panjang kan, asal boleh.

Sakit oi, sakit. 


Thursday, August 22, 2013

Steferesfes

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Hey bloggers,

Arini update dari office thru hp. Berkecamuklah life lately ni. Damn hates this feeling. Bikin panas 24/7 woihh.

Life ; Not so well

Work ; Stressful

Housemates ; Ignored

Soulmate ; Away

Money ; Slender


Ahhhh conclusion nye stress lah. Take care you guys!

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Someone

Hi peeps,

WARNING : THIS POST WILL BE SUCH AN ANNOYING POST!

I do be friend will all kind of people. Sometimes I fall in love but not with someone who I be friend with. Rarely I'll will in love with my friends, macam pelik pulak. Kawan kawan then jatuh cinta. Tapi ada je kan, kalau dah jodoh tak kemana. But still selagi boleh elak, I will not fall in love with someone who I know well. Friends just like cloth that you like, you will wear it all the time but you will not bring it to bed. Paham tak? It's okay, biar aku faham sendiri.

I was seen as tough, strong, brave but actually I was someone who easy fall in love. But unfortunately, I'm also someone who can easy break the feelings. Mudah jatuh cinta dan mudah untuk melupakan. That's why I'm seen as strong without crying-drama-thingy.

The latest, I've be friend with some-three-one (read : seorang dua), 1st guy is someone boyfie, 2nd guy is single but I can't live with him in future and 3rd guy was someone I know back days. All this three guys be friend with me as who I am, back days, now days, and in the future (maybe). Aku bukan tamak, but ada pepatah kan, berkawan biar seribu. After the 4years relationship doesn't make out, I just can't in love in this time being.

This 1st guy is the most closest guy with me. We doing all the craziest thing together, we try all the good food together, we go thru hard time together, unfortunately, for me and for him, he has girlfriend. I will not let him let go that girl because of me, because I know someday, he will do that to me. So, we just declare our relationship as 'friends'.

I miss the Ipoh trip, I miss the Penang trip, I miss the Genting trip at 3am and will miss the Cameron trip at 12pm. This is all the craziest thing we have go thru. Driving to somewhere place like no one business, like-we-dont-have-to-work-tomorrow. I just missed it.

Mingle with all your family members, without plan, is awesome. Be the one who can lend the arms when you crying of your father's death. I dunno either me or your girlfriend be the one who selfish. I just dunno.




notatumit : Now you guys can see how biases I am with these three guys. Sayang tak semestinya bersatu, kan?




 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

A while

Hola peeps!

Assalamualaikum wbt.

Its been a while I'm not writing here. Rindu tak? Mestilah rindu nak mencaruts kat sini. Tapi atas sebab kekangan masa semua, tak dapek den nak merepek kat sini. Working life being so nice, even though lately ni stressful sangat.

A while?

Ya. After 2.5 weeks me and him didn't meet each other, last night be the night. Walaupun ada drama sentap-airmata lastly berjumpalah kami. Alhamdulillah. Meets without any official planning at all. Texting, calls then meet up.

Me : Hi. Bila you nak hantar balik barang I?

Him : Hi. Takmau lah. I nak simpan.

Me : Gila ke?

Him : Biarlah.



After 10min he's call. Will pick me up at 8pm.  

After settle up my work, 7pm bergegaslah balik. Nak mandi mandi siap siap wangi wangi. Mandi dengan hati berbunga plus senyum ke telinga. Then iron tudung, after that, terpikir pulak ;


 Me : You nak bawak I keluar ke nak hantar barang je?

Him : Hantar barang. ( That's all !!)

Me : I lapar ni

Him : You pegi makan dgn housemate you. I esok kerja pagi. Penat



Kan dah bagitau ada drama sentap-airmata. Rasa menyesal iron tudung, siap siap. Then 830pm he's call bagitau dah sampai, ada kat bawah. Then dengan hati sentap, tukar seluar (jeans->palazo), t-shirt plus shawl. Sampai kat kereta bukak pintu belakang amek barang, tutup pintu.


'' Hey, laa tak siap lagi. Kate lapar ''
 

Ngehngehngeh. Happy!






Notatumit : He's not mine. He's someone else boyfie. Sayang tak semestinya bersama kan?

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Dr. Love

Hi peeps,

Weekend ini hanya melepak dirumah saja, still cepat je masa berlalu, macam 'Eh, esok dah isnin, dah kena kerja'. Alahai time goes faster lately ni. Sampai tak terkejar pulak. Last week, whole week busy semacam, tak cukup tangan kaki semua. Seriously, time time macam ni lah rindu rumah kat Kluang, rindu time time belajar dulu, rindu ahhhh!
Ok2 focus untuk post kali ini!
Dr. Love? Who's Dr. Love? Dalam post kali ni aku lah Dr. Love tapi part time saje, tolong kawan kawan. Siapa la kita kalau payah sangat bagi pertolongan, ye ke dak?
Seriously, terdetik dalam hati, bullshit aku boleh jadi Dr. Love, masalah cinta sendiri pun tak terungkai. Ini kan pula mau selesai masalah orang. Macam omputih cakap, practice make perfect, tapi situasi aku sekarang ini, bukan practice but advice. Atleast, my advice could make someone feel better right?

For my friend situation, dia dah tersepit. Antara perasaan dan kawan, masa awal awal dia story aku pun macam nak ter'judge dia but still aku kena jadi orang tengah, bukan main dengan emosi sendiri. Amik yang positive, kau tak perlu korban perasaan dan korban kawan. Serabut kan? Siapa suruh main dengan api?

Nasihat aku satu, tanya pada diri sendiri. Kalau kau rasa kau takboleh lupakan A, lepaskan B dengan cara elok. B tu kawan, jangan sampai tindakan kau boleh putus kawan dengan si B. Haha. Aku pun taktau nak leraikan macam mana. Still both keputusan kau, aku respect bro. Kau matang, macam abang2, sebab tu aku sayang ko, Darn!



notatumit : Semoga advice aku bagi kesan kat kau,  Darn!




Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Kau kata, aku kata

Shared from #terfaktab

Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,
 

Tapi bila hp kau berbunyi tanda incoming call kau tak nak angkat. Sanggup tukar mode vibrate. Hp kau vibrate macam nak meletup pun kau buat tak endah. Bila suruh jawab call kata benda tak penting. Dari vibrate kau change mode silent lepastu masuk hp dalam poket. Langsung tak menganggu hal kita.

Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,

 

Tapi bila on the phone kemain menyorok. Kalau boleh nak duduk dalam almari. Bila kantoi dengan aku tengah gayut sanggup campak hp ke celah kangkang. End call macam tu je. Bila aku bukak pintu kereta, kemain pucat lagi muka kau. Kalau lempang time tu sure bentuk tapak tangan tu jelas. Kemain berubah muka kau. Kenapa tah.

Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,

 

Tapi bila whatsapp, text masuk berduyun-duyun kau tak reply. Kau biar macam tu je. Bila aku kata kenapa tak reply, kau diam. Kau tukar topic.

Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,

 

Tapi bila aku mintak hantar sana sini kau ikut je rentak aku. Sampai pihak lagi satu ajak keluar pun kau tak pergi. Kau bagi alasan ada kerja. Padahal kau keluar dengan aku tu bukan hal kerja.

Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,

 

Tapi bila nak decide benda yang important, kau cari aku. Kau bukan minta pendapat aku, tapi macam mintak izin. Sampai satu tahap bila aku kata tak payah pergi, kau tak pergi. Bila aku kata benda tu okay, kau buat. Bila aku tanya kenapa nak tanya aku sebab itu soal hidup kau, kau kata saje.

Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,


Tapi balik keje selalu jugak kau whatsapp aku. Tak cukup kat office, sambung menyakat kat whatsapp. Kekadang aku baru selangkah masuk rumah, whatsapp kau masuk. Memalam buta kalau aku whatsapp pun kau reply. Walaupun aku rasa kau ni bukan kaki melayan benda-benda macam tu.


Kau kata kau anggap aku kawan,


Tapi semua benda yang kau buat tu tak macam kawan. Lebih dari kawan. Aku tak bodoh nak beza layan kawan dengan layan orang lebih dari kawan.


Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi bila nampak kau on the phone, berasap jugak kepala aku. Panas jugak hati aku. Rasa macam nak rentap hp kau baling time tu jugak.

Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi bila ada incoming call kat hp kau, aku pura-pura suruh kau jawab. Padahal dalam hati menyumpah seranah sebab sibuk kacau masa kita. Celaka apa tak reti nak call time lain ke.

Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi bila text dengan whatsapp masuk kat hp kau, aku jeling-jeling jugak tengok apa yang tulis. Nampak jugaklah sebarang dua ayat. Sakit hati tu jangan cakap.

Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi malam-malam bila bosan aku whatsapp kau jugak. Macam kau buat ke aku bila balik keje. Walaupun aku tahu kau kat luar dan whastapp aku tak delivered, tapi aku bodoh jugak pegi whatsapp. Pehal tah. Kau pun tak kira pukul berapa kau sampai rumah, whatsapp aku yang tadi aku hantar baru masuk ke hp kau, kau still reply. Aku pun kekadang dah membuta time tu. Haha.

Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi aku curi-curi jugak geledah hp kau. Tengok contact list, phone log, whatsapp, inbox dan segala macam benda yang boleh aku tengok. Berderau jugak jantung aku bila bukak.

Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi bila kau takde depan mata, tercari-cari jugak aku. Otak dah fikir ke lain je. Padahal kekadang kau membuta tak bangun lagi atau kau ada kerja luar.

Aku pun kata aku anggap kau kawan,

Tapi cara aku layan kau pun kekadang tak macam kawan. Dan aku pun tahu kau tak bodoh sampai tak boleh beza layan kawan dengan lebih dari kawan cemana.

Kau kata kita kawan. Aku pun kata kita kawan. Tapi kita tak macam kawan. Bila orang tanya, kita kata kita kawan. Walaupun orang luar dapat agak dan tahu, tapi kita jawab macam diorang tu bodoh. Kita pun kekadang macam bodohkan diri sendiri. Sebab dalam hati cuma kita je tahu, kita ni kawan ke lebih dari kawan. Cuma kita tak tahu macam mana nak rungkai perasaan tu. Sampai satu masa kita ikut macam omputih kata, go with the flow. Mungkin macam kita dua pernah cakap,


Kalau ada jodoh, ada lah. Kalau takde, kita redha.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Long Journey

Salam.

Hi peeps!

Dah bosan asyik mengeluh lama tak update kan. So now, takpayah mengeluh bagai, terus je storymory kan. Alhamdulillah, currently I'm staying at Damansara. Still dalam contract internship, walaupun report semua dah settle submit last week. And Insyallah aku akan terus kerja kat company tu. May everything gonna be okay. Hopefully!

Life kat sini okay, sama je mana-mana pun tapi yang sedihnya sebulan sekali je balik Kluang. Dulu masa study everyweek shoot balik Kluang, sekarang, hmm. Rinduu Kluang. Chill Ain, orang lain lagi payah, jauh. SABAR. 

Lastweek, dari khamis sampai ahad nonstop traveling. Damansara -> Kuantan -> Muadzam -> Kuantan -> Damansara -> Genting. Letih tapi awesome kan. Taklah bosan sangat hidup. Semalam shoot Ipoh, nice town tapi taktau nak pegi mana. Letih. So harini lepak kat rumah, basuh baju, iron baju, kemas bilik blablabla...


Okla later sambung, Insyallah.


notatumit : Rest rest rest, esok kerja!
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