Friday, April 17, 2015

Buat Perangai

Assalamualaikum.

Someone who really know me will know that me and Mak are always like cat and dog. Ade je bende tak kena. Tak kena pada aku, tak kena pada dia. Senang cerita tak pernah sependapat. Dari zaman study dulu, tak boleh cuti lame sikit (like sem break) mesti 2nd or 3rd day dah start gaduh. Aku tak macam Along, die lemah lembut, dengar cakap plus Mak pun sayang die lebih. So memang aku sorang ah dalam rumah ni tempat lepas marah, tempah gaduh Mak. Yang jejantan tak payah cakap lah, memang di sanjung bak sultan.

Memang dari azali aku tak pernah tak gaduh dengan Mak. Pasal tak buat kerja rumah la, pasal tak pakai tudung, pasal pakai baju tak sopan, pasal perangai, pasal semua benda. Pantang gaduh, kang dengar la aku hentak pintu kuat kuat walaupun zaman tu pintu dah xboleh lock, so aku & Along lock pintu guna sendal pakai surat khabar. Semua benda tak kena dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki. Ntah.. I couldn't remember when the last time I felt the same like today. Seingat aku, aku dah move on. Dah malas nak pikir pasal sedih medih macam ni yg in the end, aku tetap akan sedih.

Dari aku muda remaja, memang problem. Malas belaja, bengap sikit, terikut ikut kawan (kate diorg), asik bergayut sampai bill mengunung, sekolah agama tak habis, memang banyak point ah nak kena dengan Mak. Aku pulak pantang dengan orang tak habis habis lecture. Panas sangat telinga mula la nak membalas, mengamuk, menjerit. Well that's me. Aku tak pernahnya betol. Kalau diaries aku masih wujud, memang banyak ah caci maki sumpah seranah dalam tu.

The most things that can me relief is I told myself that one day I will leave this house, so that everyone can be happy ever after esp Mak. Aku berharap hari hari, lepas aku abis sekolah memang aku angkat kaki. Tup tup lepas Spm tak dapat banyak offer, bengap kan, dapat Politeknik Arau tapi Mak tak kasi, jauh sangat, dapat Unisel, Angah cucuk Mak cakap tak bagus, swasta. Last last aku masuk Form 6.

Habis Form 6, angkat kaki pergi Pahang, sambung degree 3 tahun. Habis degree terus kerja kat Damansara but now am stuck back here. Ni baru lepas gaduh entah kali ke berapa ribu untuk 2015. And after soo long, hasrat aku nak berambus datang lagi. Aku nak kerja jauh jauh, kerja yang tak boleh cuti raya. Kerja shift, kerja yang macam takde life macam my previous job. Aku nak balik Kluang setahun sekali je. Aku nak tukar no phone so that no one can reach me nor find me.

Ya Allah, bagi lah aku rezeki ini ya Allah.

But I know my self well. Bila aku start duduk jauh/duduk luar Kluang, I will always make time to balik at least once in 2 weeks. If tak silap aku, masa kat Pahang, paling lama takbalik sebulan, and masa kat Kl, 2 bulan paling lama. Home is always be my comfort place, my heaven in this world. Sekeras keras hati aku, ada sikit tisu gak. Yeah maybe Mak and I are meant to be to bergaduh all the time. Sayang tak semestinya bersatu kan.

Let my dream to be where they should be.






Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Love-hate-connection

Assalamualaikum.

2015 is my 25th years living in this world, this extraordinary creation of God. Age changed me alot. From a rebel kiddo to a matured lady, from zero to something. My family is one of the reasons for me to change, to be a better person. As some people know, I'm not a family person when I was a teenager. I rather choose outsider (which is friends) than my own blood. At that time, friends is everything, they always for you up and down, understand you until makes you think that you don't need your family.

But everything changed. When friends leaving, family still there. When I'm fall, my family will help me out. Whatever bad thing I did, curse I make, they stand still. People come and go but your family will never be that 'people'.

Almost 5 years I'm away, not living with them, makes me appreciate them more, makes me realize that I need them more than everything. And the more important part is I'm more protector than before. I  hate when people treat them badly. Bak kata orang Melayu "cubit peha kiri, peha kanan terasa sakitnya".

Unfortunately, my family such an angel. Helping or treating people so fucking nicely even that people will never give back what you give them. Those people are so selfish, they only appear when they need something but my family, like always, be there for them every times. Imma a hatred thou, once you make me or you treated my fam badly, you will never be in my list. So just take it when I treat you bad, its karma.

" When you realize that you're constantly treating a person alot better than they treat you, its time to make a change. "

I can be an angel if you be nice to me but watch out, am surely have my evil part too. U messed up with my family, u mess with me too!

Hasta manyana !

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Obsession

Assalamualaikum.

Sejak dua menjak ni asyik ngadap banyak movie. Lama and baru. The latest one is The Cobbler, rasenye tak keluar lagi kat Malaysia. Adam Sandler kan, so tau tau je la macam mane gila dia tu. Tapi macam sedih tengok movie tu sebab Adam nampak tua sangat. Maybe sebab dia bawak watak macam tu tapi kat mata tu nampak sangat tua. Huaaa my fav actor dah tua means aku pun tuaaa. Semua movie aku tengok online, yelah madang tengok panggung je tapi at last yang bestnye popcorn semata. Mak is stress!

Last two night kot, tak hingat, I'm watching Insurgent, sambungan dari Divergent. Perghh memang terbaik lah cerita macam ni. Divergent aku tengok dalam 2-3 bulan lepas kot pastu keluar pulak kat Astro. Insurgent pun tengah main lagi kat panggung (if tak silap). Dahla hero mantap gitu, hensem, ber-tattoo. Pastu muka macam pelakon Malaysia, sape name die, khairi belakang die gitu. Tapi movie ni memang highly recommended! 

And aku dah tengok Fifty Shades of Grey, hmmm malas nak ulas. Best ceritanye tapi banyak part tutt lah kan, tapi rasenye takde lah exotic sangat, lebih kurang movie yang boleh tayang kat Malaysia tapi part tutt tu extra banyak. Tu je. Tapi part Christian duk sweet dengan Ana tu buat Iols tersengih sengih jugakla. Gila tak tersengih, naik kapal terbang peribadi, bagi kereta, Ana tak angkat call terus datang. Auwww. Tapi macam kurang fit la watak Christian dengan that guy. Kena lagi charm kot. Btw great ending.

Ok, after three paragraph, currently I'm obsessed with series! Latest series pulak tu, so kena tunggu one week for new episode. Two different series pulak tu. Stress! Izombie & The Returned. Izombie pasal Liv, medic, pergi satu party tetiba jadi zombie. So dia consume brains la kan, and luckily lepas jadi zombie dia kerja dekat makmal jenayah, so bila dia makan otak mangsa mangsa dia dapat vision siapa yang bunuh si mati la. At the same time, dia tolong la detektif tu settle kan case. So satu ep satu case. The Returned pulak pasal orang mati hidup balik, like a girl after 6 years dead, a guy after 7 years etc. Each person ada cerita masing masing. Awal awal episod show like diorang tak bahaya, bukan zombie la, latest episod baru nak tunjuk how danger they turned to be. Omg cannot wait ! Meh aku share sinopsis ;

IzombieLiv Moore was a medical resident and an overall happy person. She had a happy loving family, a funny and cute fiance and she loved spending time with her friends. But her whole life went downhill at a party, at which she was turned into a zombie. Now she only hungers for brains. She quit her job at which she had a promising career, and started to work at the Seattle PD morgue, not only to satisfy her urge for brains, but to help the Police Department at solving crimes as a "psychic" consultant. With the help of her boss Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti, who is more fascinated by her condition than scared of it, and Detective Clive Babinaux, who believes that Liv is a psychic, she must help the people of Seattle, understand her condition, find out how she was turned into a zombie, and fight a menace on the rise.

The ReturnedFocuses on a small town that is turned upside down when several local people, who have been long presumed dead suddenly reappear, having not aged and unaware of their own fatality. As they attempt to resume their lives, strange phenomena and gruesome murders begin to occur.

Banyak lagi aku tengah follow, Roommate, Korean Tv series, aku dah follow dari tahun lepas, dah seasons 2 dah. Semua aku tengok online, nak tunggu tv, lambatt. Haa Interns, Singapore Tv series, almost last episode, aku tak kenal pun pelakonnya semua, kenal script writer je, so dengan fancy-sarcastic dialog makes me stay. HAHA. And lastly, Yo Soy Betty, La Fea. Ni aku layan kat tv. Mengimbau dulu dulu, mase tingkatan 1 kot. Dah episod 100 dah ni. lagi lebih kurang 35 episod. Aku sebenarnya nak tunggu part transform je. 

Kemain telenovela ni kan, ingat lagi dolu dolu mase sekolah, tunggu sampai ngantuk cerita kat NTV7 & TV3. Rosalinda, Miss Tres Hermanas, Maria Mercedez, etc. Tua dah woiii !

Hasta manyana ( See you tomorrow - pengaruh Betty )

Friday, March 20, 2015

Circle

Assalamualaikum

Circle? Bulat? Ade ape dengan sang cicle.

Actually aku baru post something kat facebook. A photo with a quote. Me and quotes were inseparable. Aku suka quotes and sometimes aku boleh create my own quotes. Ok melalut lagi. Aku post gambar me & Uniten's friends while we celebrating new year for 2011. Our precious new year eve at Teluk Cempedak, Kuantan. With quote :

" Things change and friends leave. But life doesn't stop for anybody." - Stephen Chbosky

Yeah, people come people go. Kitaran yang kita akan lalui dari kecik sampai kita mati. I do have friends when am in kindergarden but as soon start masuk real school, I dont even remember them. Same lah seterusnya, dari primary school,i membawak ke uni life sampailah office mate. They're my friends but they aren't real friend.

My truly friends are the one who stay even we're not talk everyday, we're not met every month. And they still there when we need.

Kalau nak kira kawan, tak cukup jari nak kira. I used to have ramai sangat close friend but in the end someone who I think he/she will be there are neven been there pon. Like bertepuk sebelah tangan. I dont blame them, its me. Aku cepat sangat close dengan orang, that's why. Aku cepat sangat entitled them as my friends.

But now, am minimize my circle. Only the limited edition will be in. I dont want to history repeat itself. With couple of times being betrayed, I cant take it no more. I feel wasted, wasted for being a good friend to they, wasted because I used choose them over my family. Tu lah, orang dah cakap, family 1st. Degil sangat kan dah kena.

I never regret anything. Semua yang jadi mematangkan aku. So that I can make clear decision, so I can choose wisely. So people tak boleh pijak aku lagi. No, am not going to curse or blame you. Doakan kau untuk bahagia lebih membahagiakan aku. Kita sama sama bahagia, cuma tak bersama. Memasing ade hidup memasing.

Shit happens, life must go on.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Novel Review : Angus, Himself *Lejen Press

Assalamualaikum.

Ok dah lama sebenarnye addicted kat Lejen Press punya product ni. Ohsem sangat, bukan typical novel with typical love story. Tak ingat bila start follow and collect buku buku ni, if aku boleh rewind nanti aku buat post lain. Sebenarnya ade banyak buku waiting list untuk dibaca, beli banyak masa kat Damansara. Tapi since work situation sangat busy and takde life, so stop la midnight reading session aku. So lately ni baru nak start brush up reading skill. Ok ok start review, Ain !

Angus, Himself by A.B. Hashim

Ni satu satunya English novel by Lejen Press yang aku ada. If tak silap ade lagi beberapa lagi nurkilan AB Hashim ni, Timid, Five Thieving Bastard etc. Ntah macam mane tak jadi beli Timid haritu. One thing yang paling melekatkan aku dengan buku ni sebab dia punya latar tempat, which is Tronoh, Ipoh. Bayangkan ah kau baca English novel yang kekonon fefeling oversea but its happen in Ipoh. One of my fav place, ntah dari dulu. If aku percaya dengan past life, maybe hayat aku dulu aku stay Ipoh.


Lagi satu, Angus's lifestyle. Sex and liquor. Simple life, tak serabut, no commitment. Woman craving for him just because people talk about him. Dia takpayah promote himself or approach woman with perfect pick up line pon. Perfecto ! And how he's fulfilled woman needs. Ohhh perfect hero. Plus tak perlu jalan cerita meleweh leweh, different timeline and how Angus hates Kl's hectic. 

Tapi banyak part poem yang aku skip just because I cant wait for another sessions with Angus. HAHA

" Be a man. That's the least you can do. 'Coz the hero spots are taken "


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