Monday, August 10, 2015

Opposite sex - best friends.


Assalamualaikum.

Few days ago mase duk ralit scroll down FB news feed, terjumpa one screenshot conversation between bestfriends, opposite sex-bestfriend. Ape yang buat aku tertarik is the caption "inilah jadinya bila bestfriend kau seorang lelaki..". As you guys can see the attached pic here, that girl nak meluahkan problem dia to her bestfriend which is a guy. Nampak cute kan?But in reality, for my case, its totally different.

I do have few guy bestfriend. Biase lah fomfuan kasor plus bbw macam iols ni, stock buat bestfriend je der. HAHA. Yang stock stock comeylotey, keayuan tu semua stock buat awek kan. Yes I is faham. But I do glad that I have them as my bestfriend, we can talk dirty without feel ashamed or guilty, we can rely when we have problem with our motorcycle, part ni untuk aku je la, we can share something loveydovey yang sesuai untuk di share dengan girl yang bukan awek (tak sesuai share sesame lelaki, dikuatiri kedengaran gay-ish), etc.

People said that we can't be bestfriend with someone that opposite sex, because they said any relationship that included opposite sex members will lead to a romantic relationship. Yes it might be happen but surely not for me, I mean tengoklah aku macamane plus diorang ni over taste tinggi melangit so, there's no chance at all that we can fall in love with each other. LOL sangat. Plus am the type of person that hardly falls in love especially to someone that I know for a long time. Like hello aku kenal baik buruk atas bawah luar dalam, camno la den nak terfalling in love nye?

Plus for my case, they're all occupied, means they're not single. Kitorang rapat pon even before diorang ni in relationship. But still they can share anything including their relationship prob/stories etc. Macam borak kedai kopi gitu ah. Yang nak bagitau different ape yang jadi dengan attached pic with my case is diorang yang mengadu domba, meluah rasa. Pulaknya jenis yang meluahrasa bukan boleh main message/whatsapp tapi kena bercakap, kena call, kena dengar suara.

Frankly speaking, bestfriend (guy) pulak jenis emotional lebih, kang lambat angkat or bila kredit habis and tak call back kate kite ni taknak layan problem die, hadoii. Bace macam cute kan, tapi nak melayan tuuu, pusing kaplaa. Siap keluar ayat "dahla Ain, ko macam taknak reply je, sorry susahkan kau, yada yada". Mak is stress. Yela dulu zaman study kadangkadang busy kesini kesitu kan. Lambat reply mase emo conversation, dah cakap kite taknak layan. Kadangkadang pulak call pukul 2-3 pagi semate mate suruh dengar die main gitar, lagu dituju untuk awek tapu pakse aku dengar. Grrrr.

Tapi its ok, bila teringat balik rasa kelakar sangat, and I happy that I'm always there for them. Takdapat tolong settle problem tapi jadi telinga untuk dengar masalah pun ok what. As long as they're feel better, I'm a happy to help. Here's few tips for this kind of friendship :

1. Keep a logic distance.
- Janganlah duk mesej/call/berkepit 24/7. Kang bila orang cakap 'eh korang ni ehem ehem ke' kan dah awkward, plus awkward situation makes people separate tho. Plus nanti patner dia or patner kite pikir bukan bukan. Tak bagus.

2. Be reminded that we're not here for occupied their heart.
- Na-ah! Stick to friendship rules.

3. Stay away from awkward conversation.
- Ade kan benda benda awkward yang tak sesuai dikongsi and better keep it by our self. So dont share, refer to no.1, awkward situation makes people separate. Yelah kau dah termalu malu teruslah malu nak share benda lain kan.

Thats all. Panjang akak bebel.

Hasta manyana !

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Bebel bebel

Assalamualaikum.

Selamat Hari Raya uols!

Dah raya ke-12 dah weh, hahaha tak kisahlah. Kate orang Joho kan, raya sebulan peh. So, my hari raya was fine, smooth and yang paling penting, less moody & less drama. Drama sikit sikit tu biasa ler, tak rayer ler kalau tak drama. Like previous hari raya (25th raya already), last day berbuka kat rumah nenek, rewang rewang kejap lepastu cabut balik rumah. Pagi raya baru datang balik, ni lah untungnya bila rumah dekat dekat. Family's theme this year is green, yeayyy my fav colour.

Skip cerita raya--

Banyak sebenarnya benda nak share tapi nak karang plus nak tapis untuk kesesuaian tontonan umum adalah sangat payah eh. Lemme start with BAD DECISI0N. Me my self with bad decision adalah macam saka, tak boleh dipisahkan and selalunya something yang kita tahu benda tu akan menyusahkan but still taking risk. Dah nama pun Ain kan, tak buat salahsilap tu memang tak sah. Tapi being this kind of person makes me more matured and have some experience to share with people around me.

Everyone have their own history, either the bad ones or the beautiful ones. Kita ni manusia biasa jer, memang selalu sangat buat benda bodoh tapi kena sedar diri, jangan lah ulang balik and become a better person after that. Tapi pulaknya ada segelintir manusia ni lupa, lupa yang dia pun pernah buat silap, lupa yang dia pun ada bad history, lupa yang diri dia tu manusia biasa jugak. Duk sibuk canang sini sinun pasal history orang, duduk cucuk sana sini. Hari raya ni cheq, baru semalamnya hang duk salam peluk nangis mintak maaf, harini hang duk mengata pasal orang tu. Doa yang terbaik sudahlah.

Jangan sampai satu hari nanti, ada orang singkap sejarah silam kelam hang tuu!

0k tutup cerita hat tu. Next! Still pasal bad decision. Pasal budak budak hingusan zaman sekarang ni. Duk sibuk bercinta sana sini sampai tolak mak bapak semata mata nak mempertahankan cinta monyet. Yang si boboy, SPM pun tak amek lagi, pegi sekolah pun malas tapi sibuk nak amik nak hantar anak dara orang. Yang si gegirl pulak, nak kata desperate, umur baru 18tahun, nak kata takde rupa, aku tengok boleh tahan jer tapi yang pilih bf tak abis spm plus malas pegi sekolah ngapelaa deknon oi. Bukak bukak la mata, cari lah yang habis sekolah, yang berkerja.

Bf dia tu dah lah tak amik spm lagi, pegi sekolah pun malas plus dah malas sekolah tu, pegi lah kerja, tidak jugak. Habis tu macamane bercinta tu? Bukan ke bercinta ni nak gi dating, nak belanja movie, karok, top up. Haihh setakat bf macamni kau sanggup gaduh dengan bapak kau terok terok, berbaloi ke? Jangan esok lusa bila kau dah reti  fikir, baru nak tergadah menyesal tiada gunaaaa.

No, aku bukan materialistik tapi aku realistik. 

Next! Bad big decision. Marriage is the most big decision you will ever make in your entire life. Bukan main main. Bukan harini kawen, esok clash, cari suami/isteri baru. Bukan harini gaduh, esok nak break sekejap. Nope. Marriage is all about commitment. Yes aku belum kawen but I have family and friends yang dah kawen. Plus aku jenis manusia yang reti nak observe plus kita pilih benda betul instead pilih benda salah. Untuk nasihat benda benda betul & benda positive, I dont have to be a married woman to giving +ve advises. Simple as that.

Plus before kawen tu, tak pikir masak masak ke? Ke sebab tengok semorang kawen, kau nak kawen. Benda ni bukan untuk orang lain, its for my own self jugak, esok lusa nak kawen pikir lapahpuluhribukali. Betul ke nak kawen, betul ke boleh hidup sesame sampai bongkok tiga, betul ke boleh commits towards each other even theres so many problem we will be facing in the future?

"Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new." - Ursula Le Guin

Dah penat bebel, nak bayar berapa nih?

Hasta manyana!


Monday, July 13, 2015

Mash-up

Assalamualaikum.

Since forever dah tak update sini, moh la kita start balik. Rasanye belum terlambat lagi nak wish Salam Ramadhan. Even lagi 5 hari nak syawal dah. Atleast ada jugak la post untuk Ramadhan tahun ni. Everything was fine and on going. Emo sane sini biase la tuh. Ramadhan tahun ni rase macam aku dah tua sangat, ntah. Raya pulak memang dah 2-3 tahun ni no more raya mood. Raya untuk kanak kanak je kot. Ke perasaan aku je?

Ni aku nak share, FB post (emo post) :

Meleis sangat.
Bila guna 'iftar' instead berbuka hilang kemelayuan. Bila pakai jubah katenyer nak jadi arab, takut kemelayuan hilang didunia, Hang Tuah pun tinggal nama je kat dunia ni dik. Nasib baik Jebat ade lagi kat Astro Mustika. Bila orang lagi pentingkan kemelayuan dari keislaman.

Meleis sangat.
Bila wombat disangka babi. Eh xboleh sebut babi, khinzir lagi elok. Bila tanda salib tiba tiba muncul dimana mana, di pagar, di baju raya. Katenyer benda sedemikian rupa mampu menggugat keimanan seseorang. Sampaikan salib di gereja pun terpaksa diturunkan.

Meleis sangat.
Bila part nak jatuhkan melayu sendiri, dia no 1. Instead of tegur diorang lebih suka kutuk. Padahal rasa iri hati mengatasi segalanya. Bila serbanistas kate xboleh panggil 'mummy', dikatakan maksud binatang disebaliknya. Bila dulu kononnya lagu 'Gangnam Style' dikatakan mengutuk Nabi Muhammad, nak jadi yahudi yada yada. Tu belum sentuh part dubmash & aiskrim pasu.

Tapi bukan semua melayu, meleis kan. Se-dua-tiga-gelintir je kan. Selamat bersungkai, eh karang orang mengata pulak konon nak jadi Sabahan.

For sure ramai dah baca pasal, Astro Awani posts on FB, pasal Arabnism kat Malaysia bikin kemelayuan hilang. Macam aku dah bebel kat atas tu, ni semua issue basi yang tak patut jadi issue pon. Bazir mase. Plus last 2 day, kecoh pasal Lowyat. Melayu jugak tu. Issue racism lagi. Whatevs malas dah aku nak layan. Bace buat hilang bosan boleh la. Basii.

Tu je nak update. Selamat Hari Raya uols !

Hasta manyana !

Friday, April 17, 2015

Buat Perangai

Assalamualaikum.

Someone who really know me will know that me and Mak are always like cat and dog. Ade je bende tak kena. Tak kena pada aku, tak kena pada dia. Senang cerita tak pernah sependapat. Dari zaman study dulu, tak boleh cuti lame sikit (like sem break) mesti 2nd or 3rd day dah start gaduh. Aku tak macam Along, die lemah lembut, dengar cakap plus Mak pun sayang die lebih. So memang aku sorang ah dalam rumah ni tempat lepas marah, tempah gaduh Mak. Yang jejantan tak payah cakap lah, memang di sanjung bak sultan.

Memang dari azali aku tak pernah tak gaduh dengan Mak. Pasal tak buat kerja rumah la, pasal tak pakai tudung, pasal pakai baju tak sopan, pasal perangai, pasal semua benda. Pantang gaduh, kang dengar la aku hentak pintu kuat kuat walaupun zaman tu pintu dah xboleh lock, so aku & Along lock pintu guna sendal pakai surat khabar. Semua benda tak kena dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki. Ntah.. I couldn't remember when the last time I felt the same like today. Seingat aku, aku dah move on. Dah malas nak pikir pasal sedih medih macam ni yg in the end, aku tetap akan sedih.

Dari aku muda remaja, memang problem. Malas belaja, bengap sikit, terikut ikut kawan (kate diorg), asik bergayut sampai bill mengunung, sekolah agama tak habis, memang banyak point ah nak kena dengan Mak. Aku pulak pantang dengan orang tak habis habis lecture. Panas sangat telinga mula la nak membalas, mengamuk, menjerit. Well that's me. Aku tak pernahnya betol. Kalau diaries aku masih wujud, memang banyak ah caci maki sumpah seranah dalam tu.

The most things that can me relief is I told myself that one day I will leave this house, so that everyone can be happy ever after esp Mak. Aku berharap hari hari, lepas aku abis sekolah memang aku angkat kaki. Tup tup lepas Spm tak dapat banyak offer, bengap kan, dapat Politeknik Arau tapi Mak tak kasi, jauh sangat, dapat Unisel, Angah cucuk Mak cakap tak bagus, swasta. Last last aku masuk Form 6.

Habis Form 6, angkat kaki pergi Pahang, sambung degree 3 tahun. Habis degree terus kerja kat Damansara but now am stuck back here. Ni baru lepas gaduh entah kali ke berapa ribu untuk 2015. And after soo long, hasrat aku nak berambus datang lagi. Aku nak kerja jauh jauh, kerja yang tak boleh cuti raya. Kerja shift, kerja yang macam takde life macam my previous job. Aku nak balik Kluang setahun sekali je. Aku nak tukar no phone so that no one can reach me nor find me.

Ya Allah, bagi lah aku rezeki ini ya Allah.

But I know my self well. Bila aku start duduk jauh/duduk luar Kluang, I will always make time to balik at least once in 2 weeks. If tak silap aku, masa kat Pahang, paling lama takbalik sebulan, and masa kat Kl, 2 bulan paling lama. Home is always be my comfort place, my heaven in this world. Sekeras keras hati aku, ada sikit tisu gak. Yeah maybe Mak and I are meant to be to bergaduh all the time. Sayang tak semestinya bersatu kan.

Let my dream to be where they should be.






Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Love-hate-connection

Assalamualaikum.

2015 is my 25th years living in this world, this extraordinary creation of God. Age changed me alot. From a rebel kiddo to a matured lady, from zero to something. My family is one of the reasons for me to change, to be a better person. As some people know, I'm not a family person when I was a teenager. I rather choose outsider (which is friends) than my own blood. At that time, friends is everything, they always for you up and down, understand you until makes you think that you don't need your family.

But everything changed. When friends leaving, family still there. When I'm fall, my family will help me out. Whatever bad thing I did, curse I make, they stand still. People come and go but your family will never be that 'people'.

Almost 5 years I'm away, not living with them, makes me appreciate them more, makes me realize that I need them more than everything. And the more important part is I'm more protector than before. I  hate when people treat them badly. Bak kata orang Melayu "cubit peha kiri, peha kanan terasa sakitnya".

Unfortunately, my family such an angel. Helping or treating people so fucking nicely even that people will never give back what you give them. Those people are so selfish, they only appear when they need something but my family, like always, be there for them every times. Imma a hatred thou, once you make me or you treated my fam badly, you will never be in my list. So just take it when I treat you bad, its karma.

" When you realize that you're constantly treating a person alot better than they treat you, its time to make a change. "

I can be an angel if you be nice to me but watch out, am surely have my evil part too. U messed up with my family, u mess with me too!

Hasta manyana !
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