#PrayForPantaiTimur 2014

Assalamualaikum.

Quick post.

First of all, takziah to all mangsa mangsa banjir esp to my friend's family kat pantai timur. Kelantan, Terengganu and Pahang. This 1st gelombang pun dah tenggelamkan stadium and some sekolah, nauzubillah. Let's pray for their safety.

Since my uni in pantai timur too (Muadzam Shah, Pahang), I feel them. And alhamdulillah when I was study there, those banjir not worse. Sangat bersyukur. Last year tengok my ex roommate from Kuantan, Iman punya rumah sampai tenggelam.

And this year, flood in Kelantan sangat teruk sampai boleh di isytihar darurat. I have few close friends there :(

Let's us as Malaysian citizens, pray for them, their safety. Aminnn

Kahwin Muda? Rasional or not?

Assalamualaikum.

I never against towards couples who kahwin muda. Never. Its halal and good decisions ever. I read alots of this. And I do respect who kahwin muda based on agama, based on elak maksiat, and married while they're student (universiti not school). But now, its like trends, bukan trends yang sihat but trends kahwin underage - means, kau tak habis sekolah lagi but sibuk nak kahwin.

No, aku tak menentang but logically, they're underage and they can't make rasional decisions or thought. How can they be in a marriage, the hardest phase in life ever. Yes aku bersyukur sangat diorang di kahwin kan untuk elak berlaku zina, pembuangan bayi, etc but when someone who haven't learn much about life then get into married life, for sure semua orang boleh fikir pasal akibatnya. Like cerai muda, and if they've child while they're still teenagers, who will be raising those baby?

Whatever decision akan ada bad circumstances. But fikirlah logic untuk masa depan that couple. Kau kahwin and kau drop out from school. How u going to survive and to give all nafkah thingy to your wife and maybe kids. Yes jodoh tu ditangan Allah, but if kau tak terhegeh hegeh, benda tak kan jadi. Same dengan rezeki tu dari Allah, if kau tak usaha Allah nak turunkan ke RM2k bawah bantal kau?

Ok, kau nak nikah jugak dengan alasan elak maksiat. Fine, but habiskan spm. Sekarang bukan macam zaman dulu, dengan sijil darjah 3 kau boleh get a better job. Spm lah serendah rendah sijil dik. Kau nak kawen ke, nak hape ke, habiskan sekolah. Atleast ur parents still can tanggung sampai habis sekolah.

Sekarang tengah viral pasal budak 15tahun (suami) kawen dengan budak 17tahun (bini). And sang suami berenti sekolah dengan alasan kena kerja tanggung bini. Thats why aku panjang lebar terangkan kat atas tu. Matlamat tak menghalalkan cara. Siap lari rumah sebelum kahwin. If they're rasional, could they do that? Then after this bila problems coming, ko nak lari ke mana? Tinggal laki? Tinggal bini?

Plus the things yang paling buat aku berbulu, benda jadi trends. Maksudnya, bila story tu jadi viral, budakbudak sebaya diorang pun akan terikut. Bercinta bagai nak rak then lepas PT3 terus nak kawen. Budak sebaya diorang ni kan memang cepat terpengaruh. So this trends sooo unhealthy !

I'm not going to comment about they parent, how they can makes decision because I know they condition will be like 'ditelan mati mak, diluah mati bapak. Am write this just for change our people views/ideas about this issue.

Ikh'1

Assalamualaikum.

The truth about me is aku sangat mementingkan friendship sampaikan kadangkadang orang pijakkan kepala aku pun aku buat relaks. Ape yang penting untuk aku is we're still friends. For me, friends is everything. Sampaikan sekecil kecil manusia yang aku pernah mingle around pun aku boleh ingat like forever walaupun orang tu takdenye ingat aku selepas tu.

Time sekolah memang aku mingle around, dengan sepandai2 budak and sekurang pandai budak. Every each person aku ingat woi tapi nowdays, bila jumpa kat luar, dia boleh buat bodoh je. Takpayah ko tegurpeluk aku bagai, ko senyum kat aku pun aku dah appreciate sangat.

Plus aku ingat lagi time sekolah dulu aku je lah jadi organizer untuk gather kan budakbudak ni padahal diorang ni haramm nak datang. Yang memang betul2 rapat tu memang mati ah kalau tak join. And even lepas abis spm pun aku banyak kali plan and ada yg jadi la even yang datang sejempuit. Orang kata alah bisa tegal biasa, means aku dah tak sentap lah kalau ramai tak join.

Yang buat amuk tu bila bertahun tak jumpa then tetiba ade yang munyik 'eh, bila nak reunion, eh bila nak jumpa ramai'. E'eh dia ni kang aku bahasa kan, marah pulak. Time orang buat ko banyak hal alasan.

But now, aku dah kecikkan circle aku. Aku mingle or keep in touch dengan orang yang betul2 appreciate  what's the friends is all about. Senang. Tak stress. Less drama. For what kau nak simpan ramai2 yang ko tau esok lusa diorang takdenye dengan kau.

Ingat lagi last month, lepak dengan Dayu. Tup tup masuk cerita pasal si polan bin si polan ni kawen. Dayu punya lah duk terangkan fullname, class mana, selalu lepak dengan siapa, aku tak boleh recall langsung sampai kan Dayu cakap ' eh, pelik ni ko tak ingat orang'. Funniehh.

Sebenarnya nak bagitau ade orang rindu kat aku. Tu je. Tapi story meleret leret pulak. Kite pon rindu awak gak. Terus kite tukar whatsapp profile pic dengan awak. Suweett la awak ni tapi kekedang benci sampai rasa nak bunuh je awak ni. Rindu ko gak, Wan!

#QishNikman

Assalamualaikum.

Bismillah. This post will be an emotional post ever. The major things that I hate be in a relationship that, I'll be losing them. Tak kira la love relay ke, friendship ke. Cerita dah basi pun, but untuk mententeramkan hati sendiri, tahan dulu cerita ni.

My crime patner is married !

Taktau nak act happy or teruja or sedih when she told me that she will be someone's wifey. Like she said, both of us bukan stay kl lagi, so tak rasa sangat. Memang ah tapiiiii... Sedih but deep in my heart, I will always pray for ur happiness.

I know her while both of us study in Uniten. June 2010. Muka bapak kerek plus ada lah issues yang makes me tak berkenan dengan minah ni. Propa sangat issue tu ok! Then macam biasa la, girlssss kan. Gaduh baik gaduh baik gaduh baik sampai lah ke last sem.

Habis belajar terpisah jap then she move to kl while am already in kl like half year. Start balik lah crimes story. Then dua2 berenti kerja and balik kampung masing2 and suddenly now she's married!

Nok, I know am not the best person u ever met, am not the great friend u ever had and I know how annoying I could be sometimes but I will always here and u will always in my heart. Thanks for everything, emo aku, marah aku, bebel aku, jahat aku, mulut aku yang semua kau tahan.

Selamat Pengantin Basi, nok.

May Allah blessed your marriage and live happily ever after with Nikman. Jangan gegaduh, jangan memarah, jangan nenangis. Sabar with all those rintangan yang dah or sedang or bakal.

Rewind

Assalamualaikum.

If only I can rewind back to 15 month ago, I will let my self know,

That I'll be losing you.

That everything isn't the same no more.

That I'll making the hardest decision ever.

That I keep thinking about you all the time.

That I'm hardly move on.

Don't fall in love.

But,

I never regret. And if I could, I will keep rewind and repeat those 15 month moment. I know, one fine day I will completely move on and forget about you, but for now, you are the wonderful partner I ever met.

I don't need remote control, because everyone know that Him already planned well for each of us. Take care wherever you are, my heart.

Nov 23, 2014  21:35

Him : I miss seeing you. Good night

Demam kekura ke lelabi?

Assalamualaikum.

Last post macam tak sesuai je nak bagitau that am not feeling well since last Sunday. Balik dari Melaka terus tak sedap badan, (later I share what am doing in Melaka, cant wait), then Monday kena ear infection, then suruh my brother belikan meds kat farmasi, later ok. Then esoknya, which is Tuesday, light fever.

Ngade ngade sangat ok. Mentang2 lah Mak dah balik. Then next day, running nose. Sangat tak menentu kondisi badan ni uols. And currently today Thursday/Friday ni, still flu, and macam bengkak je kat tekak, dunno if tonsillitis dah berbunga disitu.

But with all that, body temperature still normal. Sejuk macam biasa. Plus musim hujan kan, so memang nyaman sangat. Please la badan, sihat cecepat, nextweek nak travel jauh, if cuaca ok lah. And the same week, nak g holiday with fam. Aminnnn

Laterss

Crush

Assalamualaikum.

* Grrr tadi dah typing tapi hilang, terus takde dalam draft. Kuangjaqq.

Takpayah nak terang berjela amende tu 'crush', cari sendiri ok. For me, its normal to have someone to crushed on, wah crushed on, macam main langgaw (melaka) je. But am only have one to two person to be crushed on in my phase of life. Not being judge but orang lain tu setiap kali terpandang terus crush uols.

When I was in kindergarden, dah start uols crush crush, tapi mase tu tak panggil crush la, mak panggil pakwe. Haha. Suke pon sebab dia pandai azan and selalu baca doa makan time rehat. I dont really remember him, haiyoo its been more than 18years la, miracle sangat kalau masih ingat. Tapi seingatnya, in my class, tak ramai pon boys. Oppss.

Naik secondary school, mase darjah 1-2 memang lost sangat memory. Kindergarten ade lah ingat sesikit, phase ni folder memory corrupted. Blank, kosong. Rasanya mase dah senior senior like darjah 4-6 baru start kot suke suke ni, pakwe makwe ni. One of the boy is my classmates, another one boy from next class. Siap share kat geng geng, eh suke lah kat die, datang geng yang kaki nganjing, 'eh kau, ain suke kau lah'. Gelinyeee. Haha budak lagi sorang tu, he's Indian tapi bukan main hensem putih mangi. Hahaha.

Naik high school, pon rasenya tak ramai, sebabnya pembawakan budak budak dari secondary school. Same school dari kecik, apekah nak terjatuh cintun plak kan. Rasa macam sumbang mahram. Hahahha over. Hmmm ke takde crush ehh, crushed kat cikgu praktikal ade lahh, eh? Haha. Plus aku pun sibuk menjadi gila babas time tu plus geng geng dengan budak jantan je ramai, so percentage utk fall in love adalah tipis. Form 1-4 adalah zaman menyetan ye uols, kena sebat depan crowd kat perhimpunan, denda duk luar sebab tak buat homework or bising is normal. Cabut sekolah g mandimanda kat waterfall akan berlaku 4 to 5 times per month. Takkan lah aku nak fefeeling dengan mereka itu, cannot.

Naik ke form 6 pulak, lower 6 macam little bit lost sebab takde geng oi. Geng nyetan sume taknak masuk form6. Dahla lost, 5 month je pulak, and student pun majority aku kenal so no chance to fefeeling. Fefeling kek senior ado lah kot. Agaknya lah. No importanto.

Haaa masuk U lah baru official crushed. Fefeeling pun kat guy yang pepandai, smart smart. Berwawasan sangat impian iols. Dulu suke guy yang messy, terejal, bad boys. No more ok. 1 guy ni from 1st sem jatuh feeling. Ala ala ustad gitu. Warak. Selalu  bilal, imam. Wahh, kalau dalam class tu ter'bententang mata, malam tu tidur dalam senyum woii. Sampai sanggup aku join 1 event ni sebab that fuller organizer, gigihhh. Ku paksakan si Qis tu join. Haha. Unofficial crushed pon ada je, senior lagi, kemain hot, lagi lagi tengok on Monday or Friday. Monday because they will put on their tie or blazer, on Friday, cuci mata dekat cafe, selepas diorang balik semayang jumaat. Perghhh.

Currently no more crushed on. Plus macam dah tak relevant sebab macam dah tua je. Kalau crush terus jadi milikku takpe jugeks.

Laterss.

" I don't always have a crush, but when I do, they're getting married. "

Cik Anne or Aunty Anne or Cik Ain ?

Assalamualaikum.

Its been a while. Bukan malas eh, laptop problem. Dhla password prob tak settle lagi, tup tup charger pulak buat hal. Haihhh

Ni bukan nak cite laptop eh, nak cite kite jadi makcik lagiiiii. No, not from my family members but from my exclassmate. Wahhh. Dulu kemain duk gonjol-gonjol (gila-gila) bersama tup tup kawen tup tup jadi papa/mama, dedi/mami.

Giler ko tak excited !

Tahniah new papa, Rais Abu.

notatumit : For sure this post tonganglanggang sebab update from my phone.

Exclusive

Assalamualaikum.

Got something to share but since my blog not really be known so I guess this post is just for my expression towards something.

Its quite annoying when am jobless and start to Fbwalking or Instawalking like 24/7. It make me just hate when someone sharing their thought or personal stories. Stories means alots, same thing, same story, same behavior.

Do I became so 'old' for this thang? Like I don't like when someone sharing about their family issue, husband-wife thang, complaints-about-everything-like-you-the-only-one-who-got-problem, etc. Wake up man, people get bored, and when they bored, they start to hates. Yeah I know, haters gonna to hate but why don't you just concern about your surrounding before you share something?

Get a life dude.

One more, when comes to a relationship/love stories. But before that, I really not jealous about your love story. Cubalah bayangkan in 8month, you be in two different relationship and you so proud of it. Like on January until April you are so happy with A, gambar-peluk-bahagia-sakan, tup tup on June you with B. Status : Oh bahagia bersama si dia, imamku. With gambar with new guy, same posing, peluk-bahagia-sakan. Then your friends start comment, ' Eh you with new guy ke? ' and you be so proud answer ' Aah, dah takde jodoh dengan yang lama. '

Whatthe?

Are you proud of that, don't you think what people will think about you? Like eh fomfuan ni, senangnya tukar pasangan, even truly kau dengan ex dah lama putus before you start with new relay. Yeah, people dont know your situation and they(we) aren't in your shoe but simpan-simpanlah sikit story. People tend to judge when they know your story. Even sebesar zarah pon kau share, people boleh making story.

You don't have to be perfect, macam orang cakap, 'simpan simpanlah sikit bodoh tu'. I don't say you bodoh but clearly its not good. Like kutuk-kutuk orang, hari-hari, itu benda tak baik der. Lainlah kau buat post pasal kau menderma hari-hari (itu pun orang annoy, nanti orang cakap menunjuk). Your post describe your personalities/behavior babe.

Aku tak cakap aku perfect, aku tak buat dosa but aku simpan sikit untuk diri sendiri so that aku boleh malu dengan diri sendiri. Bukan tunjuk satu dunia yang aku buat dosa. Am not judge, am just shared what I've been read everyday.

Why don't you keep some story by your own. Like tulis dalam diary ke. Yes, so lame but it works babe. The more exclusive story, the more people want to hear/like. 

notatumit : My2cent

Asked Me, Ringgggg

1. What is your current ringtone?
- LA Love by Fergie

2. What is your current wallpaper?
- Tess Holliday

                                            

3. Do you own a picture phone?
- I owned my pics not phone pics. HAHA

4. What was the last picture you took?
- Teddy's Family. Doing my spring cleaning and they seem cute (:

                             

5. Go to your text message inbox and type what the 10th text message says?
- RM0.00 CIMB: Prepaid Reload RM30 by KAHAR BIN MO to 013943**** on 30 Nov 2014 16:12:08. - Bhahah was pau my dad for prepaid topup. Pity me !

6. How many contacts do you have on your phone?
- 279 contacts.

8. Who was the last person you spoke to on your cell phone?
- Kay

9. What service do you have?
- Celcom & Maxis

10. At this very moment, how many bars do you have for your service?
- 4. Full

11. Who’s on your speed dial numbers?
- I don't have any speed dial number.

12. Do you have voicemail?
- No.

13. How many contacts that start with the letter J do you have and who are they?
- 6. Jamal, Jannah Masri, Jeannie, Joe, Johari & Jude. They're my friends

14. Who do you call the most?
- My mum

15. How many text messages do you get a month?
- Not much, normally from telco services

16. Can you send pictures?
- Yes.

17. What are the first 2 digits to your number?
- 94

18. Go to your sent texts…what does the first one say?

- ' U esok aku pegi dgn akak aku. Jumpe sane eh ' - Sending it to my friend to cancelled plan to carpool with her

19. What about the 10th?

- ' Kedai tutup ' - send to my brother sebab the restaurant that we wanted to have dinner closed 

20. Who’s the last person that you called?
- Dayu

22. Last person that texted you?
- Celcom. Whatsapp : Balqis

23. Last person you added to your contacts?
- Cant remember thou. Jamal kot because he keep changing his phone num

24. Go down to your 5th contact, who is it?
- Albert Chia, agent for my trip to USS Singapore

25. Wanna give out your number?
- Never !

Done this post by March 10, 2015. New post on old draft. Banyak sangat draft (:

Homesick

Assalamualaikum. 

Harini dah masuk hari ke 19. Plus raya haji pulak. Plus aku demam. Plus selesema. Plus headache. 

Aku homesick.

Aritu tetiba kat tv keluar Siti tengah nyanyi lagu Nazam Lebaran. Sayu. Dahla sorangsorang kat rumah. Semalam keluar pegi mall dengan Along tetiba kat radio keluar takbir raya. Laju je tangan dua2 off radio.

Sebak gila.

Dah start rindu membawak ke demam.


" Home is not a home when Mak not around "

Haji 1435H

Assalamualaikum.

Alhamdulillah, mak and abah dah selamat terbang ke Mekkah untuk menunaikan rukun Islam yang terakhir pada Sept 17, 2014.

And today hari ke 3, rumah dah start sunyi sayu since esok Along pun dah start keje. 47days more.

Talk later. 

#Tips : Move On after Break Up

Finally..

My role as side chick END. After almost 1 year, wonderful moment. May he live happily with his family. I'm recovery-ing, still on going. We're end this 'connection' calmly, both side (read : me and him) agree. I think its the right time to do that since I'm no longer in KL. Allah Maha Besar, He knows to arrange everything. Alhamdulillah.

May my heart and my self strong enough to move on!

So, as for my self too, here's the tips to MOVE ON AFTER BREAK UP. 

1. CONVINCING YOUR MIND

You are strong! Your life should not be ruined just because someone has decided to leave you. It’s his/her lost, not yours. Set your mind for this matter and you won’t be that hurt. You can face the break up once you have set your mind to say that you are a tough person and this breaking up thing is not a big deal for you. It becomes the right step for trying to move on.

Yeah, my phase now. Keep telling my self that I'm strong, I can do it. It's not last. It's okay. LOL 

2. FACE THE REALITY

Imagine about how much sacrifice you have done to save your relationship with your loved one but eventually, thick wall hits you like a bam! It is understandable that you are hurt. But, it does not mean that you need to end up like that. Yes, bad things happen for sure. Even for the most romantic and harmonious couple, at last, the relationship needs to be over. You just need to face the reality for it.

I faced with reality before I make decision to leave him. So, it's done!

3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY AT WORK

Distraction is always the greatest therapy for any feeling either good or bad. In this case, you are going to use the distraction to shift your attention aside from the broken heart feeling. Do your job, focus on it. Or you can also do something you like (i.e. your hobby). It will make it easier for you to move on.

Can't do this fer now. Since I'm not working, but I'm glad that I far away, so that I wouldn't go back to him. Cheers!

4. THROWING AWAY SOME STUFF

Yep, you can start by throwing away some stuff but please do not comprehend it as a justification to throw and breaking things that you have. Instead, you need to throw the stuffs you got from your ex boyfriend and girlfriend. This is really important. How can you move on if the things from your ex lover are still lingering around you? It’s pointless. If you want to put an end to your misery, get rid of those things. At the same time, say to yourself that you are also done with those stuffs (and your leftover feelings for your ex lover).

Not yet. Not yet.

5. MAKING THE NEW RELATIONSHIP

Another effective method for this moving on tips is to seek for the new one. Perhaps, it might sound cheap but it is not! What is meant here is not always about to seek for a new lover. You can simply start by befriending with the other people first. Open yourself to the others. Get closer to them. And if you can really find someone BETTER than your ex, do not hesitate to take the chance!

Not yet.

notatumit : That's all for now. YEAH I CANT DO THE 4TH & 5TH. NOT YET.

Le Room

My room, my cave, place that I don't have to be hypocrite.

MY ROOM MY RULES. YOU'RE NOT WELCOME.

2014r0613

LIFE IS GETTING NUMB.

I MISSED YOUR SMELL, B.

Masih.

Dulu.

LDR - Long Distance Relationship. 4 years. Giler kan. Sampai sekarang takleh nak figure out camne boleh work out selama tu. Gaduh nangis tak payah citer lah. Its blend to the air. Normal lah. Sakit tapi sedap. Busuk tapi senang. Jauh tapi rapat.

Pertengahan 2009 - Sorang Kluang,  sorang Puchong. Sorang sibuk dengan Stpm, sorang sibuk kerja plus hiking sampai ke Kilimanjaro. 1st year, dedua tengah panas lagi, panas rindu, panas perangai.

Pertengahan 2010 - Sorang Muadzam Shah Pahang, sorang Puchong lagi. Sorang sibuk dengan 1st year student life, sorang tengah sibuk berhenti kerja, cari kerja lain. Better offer. Gayut hehari like no one business. Still gaduh. Asam garam der, second phase dah add on ajinamoto.

Pertengahan 2011 - Sorang still still stuck kat Muadzam, sorang dah dapat offer kat Perlis. Nuu jauh ke utara. Makin jauh. The most longest period ever, 8 bulan tak jumpa beb. Meracau. Bergaduh macam dah kawen. Sorang kaki merajuk, sorang kaki-malas-layan. So si kaki merajuk, pujuk diri sendiri.

Pertengahan 2012 - Sorang finale year kat Muadzam, sorang lagi dapat offer PTD, so ber'induksi 6bulan kat Kluang. Dah katenya final year, haruslah jarang balik plus orang yang tengah induksi tu lurus sangat, mintak curicuri keluar pun takmau. Kalau keluar pun, kejapkejap tengok jam, takut kena penalti. Alahai.

Hujung 2012 - Sorang dapat offer intern kat Damansara, sorang lagi, settle induksi dapat offer balik kampung halaman, Melaka. Ni dah tahap hujung nafas, kira gaduh pun tak lut, tak terkesan. Memasing dah hilang rasa, hilang tawa. Lama sangat pun bikin boring.

March 2013 - The end. Dah takboleh terus dah. Gaduh tak, nangis tak, declare no longer together. Win win situation.

Pejam celik pejam celik kan. Kronologi yang simple sangat, tak serabut. Rindu tapi pendam, berhubung tapi tanpa komitmen.

May 2014 - After one year plus, sorang still Damansara,  sorang Putrajaya. Atlast at the same town, unfortunately, no longer together. Meet as stranger, eat like never know each other, updating each other life like never knew before.

Lebih senang ke arah no-commitment-relation. And macam dulu, duadua ada rahsia yang kena pendam untuk kepentingan diri.

Notatumit : Ini bukan jodoh, ini suratan.

Clingy

Salam.

How ya doin? Am great. Melalui harihari yang boring. Giler tak boring. I never rest lepas habis study, continue with internship then terus kerja menggila.

Duduk saje takde buat apa is really killin me. Damn.

Plus bila takde buat apa, mula la emosi nak bergelora. Moody plus emotional. Merepek repek punya perangai. Normal ah. Unstable emotions.

Easy word : mengade ngade.

Sorry b. Its been more than two weeks. See ya shortly. Will be back to normal emotion. Maybe. Lalalala.

Update 2014r0518

Salam.

After 1 year plus I'm officially jobless. Leaving the job was the hardest decision I ever made hence I never regret about the decision. 1 year plus is enough to make you love your company, your colleagues and within the time, its also enough to make decision whether to leave or to stay.

Insyallah, rezeki ada di mana mana.

Got 1 interview session this Wednesday at Cheras. Not hoping but if I get the job, it will be better. Since another 1 month plus going to Hari Raya plus my parent will go to Hajj, so I need job (read : money).

Atleast for my self to survive.

*********************************************************************************

Be at home since last Thursday, counted : 4th day, already gaduh with my mom. Sharing same birthday date, zodiac is not good thing. Both of us so panas if stay to long together.

Since memang dah lama tak gaduh, so small things pun boleh jadi issue. And like always, no one will pujuk each other, pujuk diri sendiri lah. Its not something that I can proud of, but sometimes this situation can tahan until a month.

Zzzzz.

Oklah, later girls. Wish me luck for any job interview come forward.

Take care!

Decide. Decision. Deal.

Suppose to leaving.

Meet him in his car, the same car, same person, same parking lot. I couldn't say 'we're done ', after his words - "You have promised that we're going to stay in 2 years".

Cry. Yes me.

Everyone thinks that they are strong, but when you couldn't do anything, strong is just a words. Hugs and say "Everything gonna be okay, baby". I don't need the words, I need that hugs. Keep it warm, as my heart every time I'm with you. 

"Can we just think about us, without include others?"

"It's not threat but to say I'm serious with this relationship".

"I don't want you to leave".

I wish I can, I wish I'm selfish enough.

I'd never been wordless like tonight, he's the one who talk, touch, clean my tears. My first tears in front of him, "You will never cry for someone you not love, baby. I know you love me and you know I do the same".

Shit. I'm producing those tears again. 

Yes I do, but soon nor later, we should end this ---> this line suppose out from my mouth around 20 min ago. Tonight so damn cold, enough to make me think that I'm alone in this hectic city. KL never been this cold.

Helpless, hopeless.

END? Not yet. In my dream, maybe tonight, as those tears still going.

Hikmah

Assalamualaikum.

Last post otw ke muadzam. Today, otw to Kluang.  Yeayyy si tanggang pulang ke pangkuan makpak. I was on leave from yesterday. Working life is so damn hard. Plus lately, macam2 jadi. So I need mom's hugs to re - energize my life.

Pagi2 dah stress, when you get into working life, humanity is not works anymore. They can call whenever they want. At night, subuh, weekend.  They will never being think about you personal life.

Dah name nya aku on leave, stop call me bagai nak gila semata mata nak tanya company reg form. I know you can easily found it when you starts searching. Sabor je lah!

End of that story. Tengah tunggu bus kat TBS, one of this Mak cik tegur. She's stranger but we have citchat like been knows each other for years. She really made my day. Being talk about family, her cucu's and suddenly. ..

"Awak dah kawen? Makcik ada anak lelaki. Duda. Nak kenal2 tak?"

Alahai. Tersipu sipu saye. Hahhaha. She really made my day. Lupa jap problema kat opis tu.

Ok lah got to go. Beradu sat. Sampai umah nak makan masakan mak. I hope got sambal sardin. Yummeyh.

B

Assalamualaikum.

Quick post yer.

Am on my way to Muadzam Shah. Yeah, there again. Depart around 9 tadi, arrive dalam 2pm kot. Then straight g pasar then makan. Macam biasa la if terasa sayu sayu baru lah ada mood nak menulis, ye dak. Busy weh, tak menyempat nak mengadap blog bagai.

(Eh pehal bus ni sejuk sangat, beku hidung wa)

Tadi duk instawalking, jumpa 1 gamba ni. Jap try boleh share sini tak.

Ok tu la.

As I mention before, my latest relay is unique case. I'm the one who choose to be in there. But seriously deep in my heart,  I want to be always be with u, B. Not sharing. No minimum hours. Be seen in public.  Introduce u to my family. Unfortunately,  we cant.

Our relay is not like what I had dream before.

I miss you, B.

Wake Up, Ain!

Assalamualaikum.

Sometimes I'm lost, from realistic mind, from reality.

But I'm kinda love the fantasy, without been thinking about reality, who sucks, who hurts me so much. I love to live my own fantasy world, without hurting my self, am the hero, am the heroin, am the King who control the world, am the queen who control the King. But it's just only in my mind, and I live in the reality living who may hurts you everyday, without any control.

This two weeks is so damn challenging, my emotion, my health, my wealth. I just can't bare anymore. But one step am leaving this kinda situation, its getting better and makes me stay. I know its not a normal relay, and I never dream about being in this kind of relay. Uncontrolled, unexpected. I never wanted this thing happen in my fantasy love story, but who the hell going to give you an option?

Yes, am a side-chick. So?

Did you there when am down? Did you hold my hand when am fall? Did you giving your arm when am crying? NOPE right? So don't you ever think that your judgement will makes me feel guilty, dude. 

When you talk from a typical woman side, did you ever think what the hardest part for being side-chick? I know, you don't even care because its never happen to you. I never wanted to be seen like an angel, like a rainbow but PLEASE DON'T JUDGE. That's all.

" I'm with her, talk with you later"
----Later until 3 days? You'll never know. A side-chick don't need explanation, they just want you there. A side-chick don't care if you have another chicks, they only be jealous of your 1st lady. A side-chick not a clingy type, because she the one who sharing someone's. 

Reverse Psychology or Reverse Motivation?

Salam.

Boring topic but still can related to my current life condition. Actually aku memang minat part part Psychology nih. Since Uni kot, if I'm not mistaken 3rd sem ada Psychology subject. Plus lecturer best and I got A kot. Bukan senang nak dapat A! That's why lah aku appreciate. HAHA.

Back to the topic, amende RP ni kan?

" Reverse psychology: a persuasion technique involving the false advocacy of a belief or behavior contrary to the belief or behavior which is actually being advocated. This technique relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person has a negative emotional response in reaction to being persuaded, and thus chooses the option which is being advocated against. "

Maksudnya something yang takboleh do in direct way, kena pusingpusing. Selalunya Marketer selalu guna formula ni. Simple example ; Aku nak mintak mak aku RM 500 untuk beli baju, mak aku tak bagi, then aku cakaplah bagus baju tu, boleh nampak aku kurus & boleh tahan 8 tahun. Nampak macam nonsense tapi if mak aku percaya then RP aku berjaya lah kan :)

So, macamane connection between my life and this RP was, aku stress sangat kat office. Hari hari bangun pagi ada feel malas sangat, nak MC lah but my RP was breakfast. Yeah, sebab ada satu makcik tu jual breakfast yang sangat umphh! So I motivated my self by "Pergilah kerja, nanti boleh beli kuey tiaw and karipap Makcik tu".

It's WORK!

It's also a motivation. Percaya atau tidak, sekarang aku jarang makan malam. Bukan sebab nak diet (grrrr) but bila dah balik, malas nak masak, malas nak tapau, malas segalagalanya lah! So the motivation was same, " tahanlah perut, esok kita makan breakfast Makcik tu ye " :) 

Funny right, psychology sometimes we can predict but we can't control (AinKahar, 2014)

See ya later. XOXO

UPDATED 2014

Salam.

It's been a long time. Yeah, been busy with life. Biasa lah ada naik turunnya, ye dak? I'm still struggling here at Damansara city. Tercunggap cunggap. Tercari cari. Plan to leaving this city, but the times haven't comes yet.

I have so much things to write up here, but dunno how to start.

WORK--

It's not so much fun like you wish when you still in school or college, it's so damn stress. I'm not types who clingy, who complaint about it, but Alhamdulillah, day by day I got strong iman to continue what I have been starts. Aku bersyukur dengan apa yang ada sekarang, but Insyallah, will move on to new life soon or later. Life should be challenging, abi?

FAMILY--

They being the greatest creation to me. Supportive--. Seriously, I'm not really a family-person when I was young (now, still young), but now I realize that they are everything. EVERYTHING

FRIENDS--
"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerfull stuff." - Jon Katz

LOVE--

It's already 6 month, but still have no direction.

EMOTIONAL--

Distracted.

That's all for now maybe, will write back when I feel like. Me myself know how much I miss write and how it's makes me calm and cure.

Later, XOXO.