2015 Weddings

Cryin'

Assalamualaikum.

When I decide to move out from Kl, I left everything behind. Love, life, job & friends. I never regret whatever happens. Semuanya ade hikmah, cepat atau lambat, sedar or tak sedar je. Ye aku bersyukur. I will more in the future, Insyallah.

Tak sangka dah almost 1 year. Rase macam baru semalam je. Bangun pepagi 740am, mandi pakai baju tunggu 820am, turun tunggu rapid, beli breakfast, bukak office, ngadap kerja nonstop sampai 620pm. Balik kerja around 630pm, tunggu rapid, lalu jejantas, tapau dinner, sampai rumah mandi, tidur. The same routine for 1 year plus.

Within that time, I met J. Since we live in the same area, different condo, I met him almost every night. After work, he will drop by to see me, to send me food. Either we went out or just lepak in  condo compound. Talk about everything, fights every second. Sometimes bila Qis came for a visit, we lepak together.

Finally I left.

But we never stop keep in touch, still updating whatever happen in our new life without met. Until on the night of my birthday, he wanted to do video call. On the 1st 30 second, both of us just smiling at each other, checking each other face, stare eyes. And we talked, like we used to.

The moment after I ended the call, I cried. Teresak esak. Sampai tersedu. I just dont know why. And terus text Qis, tell her what happen and when she ask 'kenapa kau nangis?', I replied, 'aku rindu,. Then tidur esok bangun mate bengkak sikit.

And last night, he texts me. I told him that am not feeling well, and he wanted to visit me. And we talk talk talk until I ask him, 'what u want from me, J?', he replied,

'I want u back to me'.

Aku? Sambung nangis lah.

Another Year, Another Cake

Assalamualaikum.

Since I realize that people dont read blog anymore, I think I dont have post more frequent. Aku sendiri pun dah tak selalu blogwalking, semua fav blogger pon dah tak selalu post. Yang gigih post every two days tu memang respect okay. Nowdays dah banyak medium untuk share your writing like facebook, twitter and kadangkadang wechat. But seriously, the feel tak sama like how we wrote in blog. No limit words, space and reader.

Haiyoo, bebel pasal orang tak baca blog pon dah se-perenggan.

3 days ago was my birthday and automatically my mom's too ! Happy birthday Mak. Nothing much, just hi tea on the evening for 2 slide SR cakes and at night, Angah bought pizza and ice cream cake! Yeayyy. Dah lama tak celebrate with Mak on the actual date. Yelah dulu masa belajar for sure ade kat Muadzam and last 2 years kat Kl. Anddd pagi tuu awkward sangat nak wish kat Mak. But like always, pelakon hebat katenyerr, relaks je. Lepas mandi terus peluk mak and wish.

Kemain Mak, malam mase potong cake die pakai jubah. Iols dengan baju kelawarnya ditambah dengan cardigan sejibik macam bibik. Thanks Angah !

Facts or Fictions?

1. This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?
- How personal you can go?

2. The last time you felt honestly broken?
- Around May 2014

3. Are you craving something?
- Hotel's breakfast buffet

4. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
- Lots of money

5. Would you rather have ten kids, or none?
- 10. But its too much

6. What do you hear right now?
- Mix Fm

7. Is your bed against more than one of your walls?
- No

8. What’s on your mind right now?
- Lots of thing I need for live

9. Are you there for your friends?
- Will try my best

10. Last person to see you cry?
- My family. When we send my parents for Hajj

11. What do you do when you get nervous?
- Sweating

12. Be honest, do you like people in general?
- Not really

13. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
- 29 maybe. I don't even have a bf right now

14. Does anyone completely understand you?
- Not really. I'm alone by my self

15. Do you have a reason to smile right now?
- Nope

16. Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
- Yes.

17. Would you be happier if life had a rewind button?
- YES!

18. Do you tell your mum or dad everything?
- No. Refer no.14

19. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
- No. I'm ex smoker, why would I mind?

20. Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone?
- No

21. This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
- Yeah the one and only

22. Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
- Past. I cant live without my past

23. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
- 6hrs ++

24. Are you easy to get along with?
- Yeah but I'm terrible to starts a conversation

25. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
- I dont remember who the last girl. HAAHA

26. What was the last drink that you put in your mouth?
- Plain water. I'm not a fans of sweet drinks

27. What size bed do you have?
- Queen

28. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
- When I get in. Under it

29. Do you like the rain?
- Sangat sangat

30. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- Yes. Because I havent reply his msg yet (:

31. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do?
- Yes. Banyakk

32. Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither?
- Bad news. HAHA

33. Who were you last in the car with, besides family?
- Shahdan, we're went to Faizninaa wed's

34. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
- Suamiku Perfect 100%, with my sister and I regret. Wasted RM10 for that kind of movie. Not my thang!

35. Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
- HAAHA (yes?)

36. Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you?
- Yes. Backstabber

37. Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party?
- No. Aku bukan kaki partyy, lemass

38. Do you regret a past relationship?
- No. I'd appreciate all my past 

39. Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party?
- Concert. I can be crazy at concert

40. Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over?
- YES

41. Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry?
- Maybe yes. Couldn't remember. Maybe they crying at my back

42. Do you care too much about your appearance?
- Sometimes. Tengok tempat and situasi

43. Are you a jealous person?
- Yes, am born with it

44. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
- Yes. Undies

45. Do you miss anyone?
- Yes so fucking much

46. Last person who made you cry?
- My mom

47. Does your ex piss you off?
- Always. Even sebelum jadi ex. Can?

48. What are you doing tomorrow?
- Sabtu, tidooo

49. Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week?
- No

50. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
- Yes

51. Have you ever been cheated on?
- Yes

52. Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
- Yes but both of we decide to end it

53. Do you like cotton candy?
- I hate sweet things

54. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with?
- My mom

55. Are you planning to get knocked up or knock someone up by age 17?
- Knocked up what? Apetuu

56. Do you have siblings?
- I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.

57. Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
- Yes

58. How has the past week been for you?
- Same like every week. Nothing awesome

59. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
- Yes. Shahdan. All the time, up and down

60. What’s on your mind right now?
- Ape movie nak tengok lepas ni

61. What were you doing at midnight last night?
- Chatting until like 3am

62. What is your current mood?
- Bored and stress and hungry

63. Who was the first person you talked to today?
- My mom

64. Will this week be a good one?
Its friday, almost end of week

65. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy?
- No

66. Who were you with last night?
- Fam

67. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
- No. Eh maybe, chatting kan

68. Next time you will kiss someone?
- Dunno. No plans

69. Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy?
- Boy

70. Do you have any plans for the weekend?
- Tolong mak masak, ada kenduri arwah on tomorrow night

Racist, problem or mentality issue?

Assalamualaikum.

It's been a while, but am back. Yup sihat, cukup makan cukup pakai but belum cukup bahagia. Alright, straight to the topic.

I'm not, never be and will not be a racist. Aku tak berat sebelah, aku tak judge orang by colour, religion and race. Well, I hate people equally. Haha. During my childhood my parents used send me to an Indian Muslim woman who taking care my siblings and me with so much love. She used to bring us to her friend's house which is an Indian family to celebrate Deepavali. From that moment, I being exposed that we're Malaysian and nothing is wrong sharing our country with other race.

And during my school, I've been friend with other race too. There's no such reason or issue for me to not to be mingle around with them. I respect them, so do they. Aku taknak sebut pasal hak or whatsoever here, this is just about educating and respect. Kita semua sama, manusia biasa, why being so paranoid to this issue, yang tak kemana.

As everyone know, baru baru ni naik issue pasal "I'm a Muslim and I love Hindus". Ada 1 group from Indonesia (if a not mistaken lah) opens about their opinion. When the first time I saw that, cross in my mind, 'oh diorang nak cakap, other religion respect to Hindus for the Thaipusam pray thingy'. Thats all. But today benda dah jadi issue. Netizen (MELAYU) be like ; oh how a Muslim girl membodohkan diri pegang that banner cakap macamtu. Dia nak murtad ke. Dia bercinta dengan Hindus ke. Dia nak convert ke etc.

I'm like... speechless. How low our people mindset towards this kind of issue? For me, the reason diorang buat macamni utk kesedaran SEMUA rakyat Malaysia yang kita tak pernah judge of any religious event or occasions. Like we know, everytime ada perayaan kaum, other race be like kutuk sana sini, brings out issue semua. For ex, biasa terjadi when tiba waktu Thaipusam, other race be like, 'ahh, mesti jalan jem' or 'semak ah diorang ni sembahyang waktu waktu cuti'.

Bila Hari Raya pulak, other race bising pulak bila orang orang kita main mercun tengah tengah malam or malam raya jalan jadi jammed sebab last minute shopping utk kejar sales. Bila Chinese New Year, orang orang kita bising, orang cina main mercun, memekak tak boleh tidur. Padahal masa raya kau, bukan main sedap kau habiskan sekotak mercin bola. Wah wah wah.

But when it comes to cuti, wahhh 1 Malaysia happy (boss boss je la benci cuti). Time ni lah bersyukur Malaysia ada banyak kaum and agama, so that ada occasions tertentu dapat cutii. Thats why la kita dapat cuti, so that kita boleh terfikir untuk respect those occasions. Bukan memekak.

Back to Thaipusam-I love Hindus-story. Diorang cuma nak tunjuk respect saje, that's all. Yang memulut Cik cik Kiah, Pak pak Mat tempe ni duk judge budak tu ape pasal? Uneducated sungguh. Plus they wrote, Hindus not Hindu. Hindus means for people, not religion itself. Paham tak? Mentality orang kita, duduk foward issue macam ni dalam Facebook page, Whatsapp group untuk kutuk kutuk, bukan untuk terangkan the main reason. Alahai, padahal ape yang difoward tu pun dia tak paham.

One of the respon I get from Whatsapp group, "Yg betina atas takde keje...memang kemarok nak cari laki ke****, Alhamdullilah dijauhkan seliseh malaikat 44...". Baca je dah tau kan, how mentality and how low their education is.

Tunggu je nanti bulan Feb, CNY, beratur la malays buat status pasal firework, memekak lah hape lah, padahal ko sedare mare ko main malam raya tak sedorr!

Racist ni its all about mentality disease.