Circle

Assalamualaikum

Circle? Bulat? Ade ape dengan sang cicle.

Actually aku baru post something kat facebook. A photo with a quote. Me and quotes were inseparable. Aku suka quotes and sometimes aku boleh create my own quotes. Ok melalut lagi. Aku post gambar me & Uniten's friends while we celebrating new year for 2011. Our precious new year eve at Teluk Cempedak, Kuantan. With quote :

" Things change and friends leave. But life doesn't stop for anybody." - Stephen Chbosky

Yeah, people come people go. Kitaran yang kita akan lalui dari kecik sampai kita mati. I do have friends when am in kindergarden but as soon start masuk real school, I dont even remember them. Same lah seterusnya, dari primary school,i membawak ke uni life sampailah office mate. They're my friends but they aren't real friend.

My truly friends are the one who stay even we're not talk everyday, we're not met every month. And they still there when we need.

Kalau nak kira kawan, tak cukup jari nak kira. I used to have ramai sangat close friend but in the end someone who I think he/she will be there are neven been there pon. Like bertepuk sebelah tangan. I dont blame them, its me. Aku cepat sangat close dengan orang, that's why. Aku cepat sangat entitled them as my friends.

But now, am minimize my circle. Only the limited edition will be in. I dont want to history repeat itself. With couple of times being betrayed, I cant take it no more. I feel wasted, wasted for being a good friend to they, wasted because I used choose them over my family. Tu lah, orang dah cakap, family 1st. Degil sangat kan dah kena.

I never regret anything. Semua yang jadi mematangkan aku. So that I can make clear decision, so I can choose wisely. So people tak boleh pijak aku lagi. No, am not going to curse or blame you. Doakan kau untuk bahagia lebih membahagiakan aku. Kita sama sama bahagia, cuma tak bersama. Memasing ade hidup memasing.

Shit happens, life must go on.

Novel Review : Angus, Himself *Lejen Press

Assalamualaikum.

Ok dah lama sebenarnye addicted kat Lejen Press punya product ni. Ohsem sangat, bukan typical novel with typical love story. Tak ingat bila start follow and collect buku buku ni, if aku boleh rewind nanti aku buat post lain. Sebenarnya ade banyak buku waiting list untuk dibaca, beli banyak masa kat Damansara. Tapi since work situation sangat busy and takde life, so stop la midnight reading session aku. So lately ni baru nak start brush up reading skill. Ok ok start review, Ain !

Angus, Himself by A.B. Hashim

Ni satu satunya English novel by Lejen Press yang aku ada. If tak silap ade lagi beberapa lagi nurkilan AB Hashim ni, Timid, Five Thieving Bastard etc. Ntah macam mane tak jadi beli Timid haritu. One thing yang paling melekatkan aku dengan buku ni sebab dia punya latar tempat, which is Tronoh, Ipoh. Bayangkan ah kau baca English novel yang kekonon fefeling oversea but its happen in Ipoh. One of my fav place, ntah dari dulu. If aku percaya dengan past life, maybe hayat aku dulu aku stay Ipoh.

Lagi satu, Angus's lifestyle. Sex and liquor. Simple life, tak serabut, no commitment. Woman craving for him just because people talk about him. Dia takpayah promote himself or approach woman with perfect pick up line pon. Perfecto ! And how he's fulfilled woman needs. Ohhh perfect hero. Plus tak perlu jalan cerita meleweh leweh, different timeline and how Angus hates Kl's hectic. 

Tapi banyak part poem yang aku skip just because I cant wait for another sessions with Angus. HAHA

" Be a man. That's the least you can do. 'Coz the hero spots are taken "

2015 Weddings

Cryin'

Assalamualaikum.

When I decide to move out from Kl, I left everything behind. Love, life, job & friends. I never regret whatever happens. Semuanya ade hikmah, cepat atau lambat, sedar or tak sedar je. Ye aku bersyukur. I will more in the future, Insyallah.

Tak sangka dah almost 1 year. Rase macam baru semalam je. Bangun pepagi 740am, mandi pakai baju tunggu 820am, turun tunggu rapid, beli breakfast, bukak office, ngadap kerja nonstop sampai 620pm. Balik kerja around 630pm, tunggu rapid, lalu jejantas, tapau dinner, sampai rumah mandi, tidur. The same routine for 1 year plus.

Within that time, I met J. Since we live in the same area, different condo, I met him almost every night. After work, he will drop by to see me, to send me food. Either we went out or just lepak in  condo compound. Talk about everything, fights every second. Sometimes bila Qis came for a visit, we lepak together.

Finally I left.

But we never stop keep in touch, still updating whatever happen in our new life without met. Until on the night of my birthday, he wanted to do video call. On the 1st 30 second, both of us just smiling at each other, checking each other face, stare eyes. And we talked, like we used to.

The moment after I ended the call, I cried. Teresak esak. Sampai tersedu. I just dont know why. And terus text Qis, tell her what happen and when she ask 'kenapa kau nangis?', I replied, 'aku rindu,. Then tidur esok bangun mate bengkak sikit.

And last night, he texts me. I told him that am not feeling well, and he wanted to visit me. And we talk talk talk until I ask him, 'what u want from me, J?', he replied,

'I want u back to me'.

Aku? Sambung nangis lah.

Another Year, Another Cake

Assalamualaikum.

Since I realize that people dont read blog anymore, I think I dont have post more frequent. Aku sendiri pun dah tak selalu blogwalking, semua fav blogger pon dah tak selalu post. Yang gigih post every two days tu memang respect okay. Nowdays dah banyak medium untuk share your writing like facebook, twitter and kadangkadang wechat. But seriously, the feel tak sama like how we wrote in blog. No limit words, space and reader.

Haiyoo, bebel pasal orang tak baca blog pon dah se-perenggan.

3 days ago was my birthday and automatically my mom's too ! Happy birthday Mak. Nothing much, just hi tea on the evening for 2 slide SR cakes and at night, Angah bought pizza and ice cream cake! Yeayyy. Dah lama tak celebrate with Mak on the actual date. Yelah dulu masa belajar for sure ade kat Muadzam and last 2 years kat Kl. Anddd pagi tuu awkward sangat nak wish kat Mak. But like always, pelakon hebat katenyerr, relaks je. Lepas mandi terus peluk mak and wish.

Kemain Mak, malam mase potong cake die pakai jubah. Iols dengan baju kelawarnya ditambah dengan cardigan sejibik macam bibik. Thanks Angah !

Facts or Fictions?

1. This is seriously going to get personal, you ready?
- How personal you can go?

2. The last time you felt honestly broken?
- Around May 2014

3. Are you craving something?
- Hotel's breakfast buffet

4. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
- Lots of money

5. Would you rather have ten kids, or none?
- 10. But its too much

6. What do you hear right now?
- Mix Fm

7. Is your bed against more than one of your walls?
- No

8. What’s on your mind right now?
- Lots of thing I need for live

9. Are you there for your friends?
- Will try my best

10. Last person to see you cry?
- My family. When we send my parents for Hajj

11. What do you do when you get nervous?
- Sweating

12. Be honest, do you like people in general?
- Not really

13. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
- 29 maybe. I don't even have a bf right now

14. Does anyone completely understand you?
- Not really. I'm alone by my self

15. Do you have a reason to smile right now?
- Nope

16. Has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you?
- Yes.

17. Would you be happier if life had a rewind button?
- YES!

18. Do you tell your mum or dad everything?
- No. Refer no.14

19. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
- No. I'm ex smoker, why would I mind?

20. Are you going to get hurt anytime soon by someone?
- No

21. This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
- Yeah the one and only

22. Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
- Past. I cant live without my past

23. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
- 6hrs ++

24. Are you easy to get along with?
- Yeah but I'm terrible to starts a conversation

25. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?
- I dont remember who the last girl. HAAHA

26. What was the last drink that you put in your mouth?
- Plain water. I'm not a fans of sweet drinks

27. What size bed do you have?
- Queen

28. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
- When I get in. Under it

29. Do you like the rain?
- Sangat sangat

30. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- Yes. Because I havent reply his msg yet (:

31. Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do?
- Yes. Banyakk

32. Would people refer to you as a goodie goodie, bad news, or neither?
- Bad news. HAHA

33. Who were you last in the car with, besides family?
- Shahdan, we're went to Faizninaa wed's

34. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
- Suamiku Perfect 100%, with my sister and I regret. Wasted RM10 for that kind of movie. Not my thang!

35. Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
- HAAHA (yes?)

36. Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you?
- Yes. Backstabber

37. Your parents are out of town. Would you throw a massive party?
- No. Aku bukan kaki partyy, lemass

38. Do you regret a past relationship?
- No. I'd appreciate all my past 

39. Would you rather spend a Friday night at a concert or a crazy party?
- Concert. I can be crazy at concert

40. Do you tend to fall for the same type of person over and over?
- YES

41. Have you made a joke about somebody that made them cry?
- Maybe yes. Couldn't remember. Maybe they crying at my back

42. Do you care too much about your appearance?
- Sometimes. Tengok tempat and situasi

43. Are you a jealous person?
- Yes, am born with it

44. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
- Yes. Undies

45. Do you miss anyone?
- Yes so fucking much

46. Last person who made you cry?
- My mom

47. Does your ex piss you off?
- Always. Even sebelum jadi ex. Can?

48. What are you doing tomorrow?
- Sabtu, tidooo

49. Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/ girlfriend every week?
- No

50. Is there anyone you want to come see you?
- Yes

51. Have you ever been cheated on?
- Yes

52. Ever given your all to someone who walked away?
- Yes but both of we decide to end it

53. Do you like cotton candy?
- I hate sweet things

54. Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with?
- My mom

55. Are you planning to get knocked up or knock someone up by age 17?
- Knocked up what? Apetuu

56. Do you have siblings?
- I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.

57. Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
- Yes

58. How has the past week been for you?
- Same like every week. Nothing awesome

59. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
- Yes. Shahdan. All the time, up and down

60. What’s on your mind right now?
- Ape movie nak tengok lepas ni

61. What were you doing at midnight last night?
- Chatting until like 3am

62. What is your current mood?
- Bored and stress and hungry

63. Who was the first person you talked to today?
- My mom

64. Will this week be a good one?
Its friday, almost end of week

65. Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy?
- No

66. Who were you with last night?
- Fam

67. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
- No. Eh maybe, chatting kan

68. Next time you will kiss someone?
- Dunno. No plans

69. Who should start the kiss, the girl or the boy?
- Boy

70. Do you have any plans for the weekend?
- Tolong mak masak, ada kenduri arwah on tomorrow night